i've always fancied myself pretty imaginative. imagination came quite easy to me. i could imagine myself into a country, a job, a house anything really. and sometimes those imagination clung on to me as if they were the real deal. i remember once sitting under a morula tree with my cousin at the sloughing fields while my grandfather was busy picking bean leaves. it wasn't my thing! it was back breaking for so little returns. i have no qualms about hard work but i better see what its for when m done, so no, i was not sitting under that tree cos i was lazy or spoilt, i had been working hard and there seemed to be no end to the child labour. haha.
as we sat under that tree, i stated to imagine myself so wealthy, i started to say what i was seeing in my mind. what do you call those escalators that run flat on the ground versus diagonally up? well, i had never seen them, but imagined i would have a yard so big, for pedestrians i would have those "escalators" for them to jump on from the gate to the front door cos it was so far and it would be covered so it would almost be like traveling on a tunnel. i saw those "escalators" a year or two later on transit through Aeroporti de roma (italy). so i know i have imaginations.
how then was it possible for me to be sitting in this beautiful house on the outskirts of town and worried to death i would not make rent yet i called myself a businesswoman? one of my aunties always throws me a pearl of wisdom when we meet, she once told me that the lives we live now, we created them five years ago. as a man thinketh, so is he. so honestly i am baffled at where it went wrong or rather, was this all i could dream for myself five years ago?
so five year ago i imagined myself supposedly engaged to a foreign man who had never set foot in my country nor i in his and had only met twice and i now felt it had been a mistake? five years ago i imagined myself moving into a house so beautiful outside town cos it was cheaper and more grand than houses in town with twice the yard in preparation for a wedding to this man who has two children i had never met yet expected my family to welcome into their homes with open arms? (i watch too many movies)! and five year ago i imagined my car would be in a workshop for months while i had to eat humble pie and learn to use the public transport which i had never been a fan of since the time when children were expected to sit on the engine cover of the combis (mini bus) behind the driver so their parents would not have to pay more. five years ago, i imagined myself with a cake business barely scraping by and constantly having to choose between keeping the lights on, food on my plate and transport money? five years ago i imagined myself unhappy, depressed, feeling like a failure with little hope and drained of all energy? truly my mind must have missed a turn or memo somewhere because i am struggling to see how this is all my own doing.
perhaps thats the trouble with us people, that when we do things, we fail to plan ahead and instead of charting our own paths in life, we hand over the baton to the nearest person cos we can't look, therefore we can't decide whats to become of us. so maybe i did influence the turn out of events in my current life as it is right now. but having gone through what i have, i have to say it has been humbling and that i can say things are turning around for me is truly God's doing, a miracle. if you read my profile you will see i am also a child of God, so when i say it was His doing i mean it. Cos it took all the prayer in me to ask God to fight this battle for me, to get me out of this mess i had created for myself and give me a fighting chance.
you have to know where i am coming from to know why i am crediting God and not my own vain self for this turn of events. so let me tell you...
